@Motherhood

Confessions of a Domestic Slut…

April 21, 2016

So last weekend my friend moved house and helping her move and get her shit together in turn inspired me to get my/our shit together – that coupled with the fact Mr B has been making a doorway into our garage from the kitchen so we can have the illustrious utility room (in my mind owning a utility room and a magi-mix makes you a grown up – FYI I’m half way there) and our house is a dust palace as a result!

 

Domestic Slut at large...

Domestic Slut at large…

So we cleaned… And here’s the honest truth… My name is Emma and I’m a domestic slut!

Cleaning has never been my strong suit, being tidy I’m a bit better at, but with a distinct lack of storage this isn’t a key skill of mine currently either. Generally I ram stuff in cupboards and spray polish near the front door so it smells like I’ve cleaned when people come round for a play date.

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But even my domestic sluttery reached new lows this weekend when I deep cleaned & hovered our bedroom; and found four different food groups under our bed. No joke. Half a Baby bell, a pea, some Cheerio’s, and a half bottle of milk that had fallen down the back of the bed, along with a shed load of dust. Oh and Christmas tree pines – read into that what you will, I think I’ve hovered upstairs since Christmas!!??

The silver lining is I found a pair of shoes I thought I’d lost, £4.50 in lose change, and a wash bag full of treats I bought for P in Australia that i also haven’t been able to locate for the last two months!

I know I should be more of a domestic goddess, I know we’re meant to be able to have it all. But I for one am the perfect example of the very real fact you can’t have it all.

Penguin telling it like it is...

Penguin telling it like it is…

You can’t work, and have two kids, and clean like a demon, and cook ,and do the food shopping, and husband keeping without something having to give! Or for me this is the case anyway, I’m not superwoman (definitely don’t have the body for lycra these days) and its cleaning that’s the first to fall off my priority list.
The way I see it is I’m helping my children build a brilliant immune system by exposing them to a less than sterile environment from the off. Don’t get me wrong I try to avoid them licking the floor where possible. But there really is no getting away from the fact our downstairs toilet is P’s favourite toy right now. At any opportunity if the door is left open and the lid up (which happens often see previous post Sit the Fuck Down and DAB…….) she’s in there like swimwear splashing around and chucking various objects in to the watery (if we’re lucky her brother has flushed) abyss. So what’s a bit of dust between family? Especially as no sooner have you finished the fecking cleaning it appears to be time to start again!!!
However what I lack in cleaning skills I make up for in OCD toy organisation, and with the removal of one very large sofa and introduction of an equally large storage unit (the Mecca for OCD toy tiding mums the world over) our playroom is to coin a phrase Houdini likes to use these days ‘well organised’. Younger toys P can play with on the bottom deck, joint toys on the first floor, craft and toys with teeny tiny bits like Lego and marbles up on the fourth floor, with some jigsaws on the third floor I’m less keen to pick up and sort on a daily basis. The hacked kids kitchen (see post  Flat pack customisation on Mother’s Day … What could possibly go wrong?!?) now has a place all of its own and isn’t in the middle of our living room. We have our adult space back!!!!

 

No more playroom dumping ground...

No more playroom dumping ground…

Rest assured people I’m sleeping well tonight, my house might be a shit hole with months of dust to hover up asap; but the Lego and brio aren’t mixed in with one another and the dinosaurs and prehistoric creatures are in a separate box to the farm animals, I’m happy as a clam with that situation 😉

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