Comforter or no comforter which is best?
I’m talking comforters, teddies, dummies, snugggies, nighnighs, whatever you call it does your child have one??
We have one child with one and one without and after a horrific bedtime/night last night with the one without I’m now fully in the camp of loving a sleep aid to its core!
With Houdini I resisted them, I was that romantic new mum against dummies (as I’ve previously admitted there is a lot I thought I wouldn’t do I did – read all about it here in this post http://hashtagbadparent.com/an-open-apology-to-all-those-amazeballs-mummies-i-judged/) and his attempts to connect with an elephant teddy were halted when he dropped it one day without me noticing. Luckily at that point in time we were in the early shall we say dating phase of the relationship ship with comforters, seeing other people and all that, not ready to commit. So H moved on.
And then he found labels, he loves clothing labels, strokes them to go to sleep, just rubs them gently between his fingers and drifts off – amazeballs, we always have a label, there have been very few incidents where we couldn’t find one. Although he is somewhat of a label connoisseur so not just any old label will do (Banana Republic labels are best apparently, so I’d better stock up on clothing from them before they exit the uk!!) so it seemed all was good H’s chosen aid was easy, washable, and pretty much unloseable…
Then came teddy. He is precious, he is simply called “Teddy”, he is the one and the only teddy in our boys eyes. His first love, how could there ever be another Teddy that he would love with such devotion?
Teddy is a beautiful knitted floppy Teddy given to H by one of my best friends, he arrived through the post and it was love at first sight. He is beautiful and indeed the one and only teddy of his kind. And here lies the problem! We can’t stock the cupboards with stand-ins, there is no Teddy mark two lying in the wings in case “Teddy” should come a cropper! And therefore we stand a good to high chance of coming a unstuck at bedtime if/when “Teddy” goes awol.
It has happened once, we said he’d gone for a sleepover at Granny’s without asking and we were very cross and would go and get him ASAP in the morning. The boys response: “don’t be cross, Granny’s house is good, I’m a bit cross he didn’t take me to go with him though” (FYI my heart broke at these words)
I’m also a bit nervous about Teddies longevity, the poor guy hasn’t got a clean bill of health. He’s only 4 years old – anyone know what that is in teddy Years? Are they like dogs? 28 maybe? – he’s been repaired by Nanny B a fair few times now and his threads aren’t going to withstand the twisting and poking nightly forever (I imagine they’ll need to hold out to 12/13yrs? when it becomes uncool to even have a teddy bear, let alone one in your clutches whilst sleeping)
We’re all too aware a replica won’t do so we’re working on mates that can join him and hopefully hold the fort should Teddy decide to have a permanent sleepover elsewhere in the future!
And all these fears, and odd behaviour fabricating great back stories for Teddies mates to be appealing enough for the 2nd spot (the knitted triceratops from Best Years has been sitting at the top table with teddy for a while now) is because a child with a sleep aid is a hell of a lot easier to put to sleep than one without said aid….
So onto our child without a comforter, child two: Miss Penny. She has no sure fire mechanism like her brother to get her to sleep. Although has seemingly chosen her parents as her sleep aids!
As a newborn this was purely me, endless hours and hours of not breastfeeding, but holding her. Every time I tried to lay her down she’d go from sleeping soundly in my arms to wide awake and squawking. I tried so hard to get her to have a comforter that wasn’t me (with a second baby sleep is far more precious than your opinions/morals/image/basically everything) but nope it was me or nothing. Now it’s a parent, stroking her or ‘snuggling’ as she puts it. There is no Teddy and label to hand her to send her off to the land of the nod. Don’t get me wrong there are a multitude of stuffed things in her bed, but none of them are top dog. There isn’t one she can’t live without or more importantly one that can tempt her lovingly to sleep. No that honour has been given to me or from time to time Mr B and it’s painful!
It’s great to be loved, and I guess we are less likely to lose than a Teddy. But by 8pm most nights I don’t want to be lying on the floor by a two year old touching her back so she can sleep. Less so at 2am when she has woken up and needs me to be able to get back to sleep. At that time of the morning I’ll happily put the rod on my own back and drag her into our bed if it means I can get back to sleep sooner, surely this won’t last forever???
I can’t decide what is the lesser of two evils? Living in fear of losing the comforter? or living in fear of being the comforter? Answers on a postcard…..